Best funny quotes

"Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night's sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too."

Lemony SnicketQuote has 17 points. Vote or

"Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck."

Joss WhedonQuote has 15 points. Vote or

"Deadlines just aren't real to me until I'm staring one in the face."

Rick RiordanQuote has 14 points. Vote or

"There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are."

W. Somerset MaughamQuote has 14 points. Vote or

"He was going to live forever, or die in the attempt."

Joseph HellerQuote has 13 points. Vote or

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."

Steve MartinQuote has 11 points. Vote or

"Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours."

Yogi BerraQuote has 11 points. Vote or

"If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito."

Dalai Lama XIVQuote has 11 points. Vote or

"My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best."

Winston ChurchillQuote has 10 points. Vote or

"Yeah, Quirrell was a great teacher. There was just that minor drawback of him having Lord Voldemort sticking out of the back of his head!"

J.K. RowlingQuote has 10 points. Vote or

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